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Breaking up can be a hard and trying time especially when you still love your ex mate. The hurt, pain and agony seem at times to be almost unbearable. You constantly go over the break-up and ask yourself "what can I do to get my ex back?"

I am sure that you know by now there are a lot of books, courses, blogs and websites that answer the question of what to do to get your ex back. Sometimes all that overwhelming information blurs the use of some "good old common sense." At times, just using some common courtesy can help to heal a relationship.

If you are asking yourself "what can I do to get my ex back," then here is some simple advice. You can help yourself give the situation the best chance of getting back with your ex.

- Quit the games. You may think that by playing mind games you can manipulate your ex into getting back together. This does not work, so do not fall victim to stooping to this level. The name calling and shaming the other person will only come back to haunt you in the end. These kinds of mind games may make you feel powerful now, but in the end, your ex or your friends will never forget it.

Blaming, lying or deceiving your ex will lead to disaster and may mean real death to the relationship. Once everyone finds out the real truth, it will only blow up again.

Using someone else for a "pretend relationship" to make the ex jealous will surely end in hard feelings for all parties. This tactic could work for a while, but it could and most probably will also backfire and make the break-up permanent. If your ex really believes that you are with someone else and it is serious, then he/she might not want you back at all.

- Be nice. Do not do things to be mean or vindictive toward your ex. This will never work and only goes to prove your ex's point for the break-up. This is not the side of you that you want your ex to see or remember. Even if you are hurt, just asking yourself the question "what can I do to get my ex back" shows that you are willing to forgive and forget. If you cannot do this, then you will never be able to get back together and make it last. Just taking this forgiving step in your mind will reduce the anger, stress and animosity toward your ex.

Now think about your actions as of late, is this what you want your ex to remember about you? If not, then it is "time for change." If the roles were reversed, would you want to go back together with someone that has acted as you have? No matter what your emotions, stop the shouting, nagging and belittling actions toward your ex.

- When you feel like fighting, do not do it. Learn to be in control of your anger and emotions so that you can show the new you to your ex. Show your ex a happier, well controlled and interesting person that is fun to be with. You may have to work on this for a while, but it will be worth it in the end.

By behaving, you can show your ex what attracted him/her to you in the first place. Your ex may start to remember the good and happy times that you two had together. This may be enough to get your ex to think about lightening up and taking another look at the relationship.

If your ex remembers the "good old days," then he/she might start to miss you and the relationship. This could get your ex to be attracted to you again as he/she was when you first got together.

These are just the first steps to getting back with your ex. There is much more to learn if you really want to get your ex back.